A Tale of Two Chicas

The List of Greats January 21, 2012

The ‘List of Greats’ is a list of men I’ve dated that have made a great impact on my life. It’s not a long list either. My college boyfriend was the only man on the list. Yes, he was the only one on the list until today.

Today, I can safely say that my man (whom we will now refer to as ‘my BFF’ for the purpose of this blog) has made the ‘List of Greats.’ I adore him. We established a genuine friendship long before we ever started dating. That’s why he’s my BFF. I genuinely considered him a good friend. Heck, he still is my good friend. When I dropped everything in Pittsburgh to leave for Chicago, he showed great concern for me when, let’s be honest here, he didn’t have to. Seriously. It wasn’t his obligation. He did it out of the goodness of his heart and because he was really worried about me.

My BFF has been the first good guy that I’ve dated since I broke up with my college boyfriend years ago. The dudes in between are honestly nothing but irrelevant and faded memories. They have faded from my thoughts and heart mainly because I knew I deserved to be treated better. I wasn’t asking to be treated like a princess. I was just asking for a little respect, consideration and affection.

I’ve tried to fix those relationships. I even tried “fixing” myself. In the end, I was always left emotionally unsatisfied and blaming myself for shit I shouldn’t have been blaming myself for in the first place. Dude after dude and I was left feeling more and more inadequate.

Our friendship was always innocent, simple and true. I guess we got closer towards the end of last summer. Yeah, he was hot and a nice guy on top of that. But, the thought of dating him never popped in my mind. Things just fell on our laps and, before you know it, we were inseparable.

I guess the fact that we already established a relationship as friends worked in our favor. I think it worked more in my favor because he’s shown undying kindness to me. Undying kindness to the point where I actually do feel like a princess.

He makes me feel like I deserve it too. I begged him that, no matter what happens, to please never make me feel inadequate. I will never forget what he told me. He said, “I want you to promise me something. I want you to promise to know and realize your worth. Don’t let the past or even me to determine your worth. I know your worth. But know that you’re smart, beautiful and funny.”

My college boyfriend was a good man. We lasted for 4 years. I just couldn’t give him the serious relationship he wanted. It was overwhelming me. It was a great relationship with a great man. However, people change. I changed. And, my relationship with my college boyfriend was fading away. Our time together ran its course.

I went through various changes and various men over the years. Through all of that, I’ve never forgotten my college boyfriend. That’s what makes him great. He’s forever engraved in me.

Now, I’m dating my friend. A great man who showers me with kisses and constantly tells me, “You’re gorgeous.” A great man that finds my stories heart warming and funny. A great man who values his relationships with his family and friends. A great man who will make me a better person no matter if our relationship flourishes or gently fades through time. That, my friends, deserves a spot on the ‘List of Greats.’

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