…That running into friends in the middle of the street (literally) in Pittsburgh always puts a huge smile on my face. I love life.
I love us October 24, 2011
I’m not happy with my job. I do it just to pay the rent. However, there’s another reason why I don’t want to leave. The people there are just too damn cool. It’s an amazing organization to work for not only because of the services they provide for the community, obviously, but also because the employees are treated right.
They let me leave immediately for 2 1/2 weeks for health purposes and I returned with my job waiting for me. It wasn’t until then I realized I met some amazing and caring people. People I’ve known for only 5 months and they have shown great concern for me. I can honestly say I call these, about 4 or 5, people my friends. While I was at home (basically laying around until I left to get my flight back home to Chicago), my co-worker/friend offered to bring me food because I literally wasn’t eating for days.
I thought about that today as I experienced another act of kindness from another co-worker/friend. He had a big plate of chocolate covered strawberries and said, “Sonia, let’s go to the cafeteria and eat these.” Let me tell you, those strawberries were bomb.
I thought about how it’s funny the way things work out. You think you know a person. You think you can trust them. You think they mean it when they make promises or claim their loyalty. But, you really don’t know if they’re good on their word, loyalty, trust or whatever until it’s put to the test. It’s a good thing though because it weeds out the people that don’t deserve your presence, love, trust and loyalty. A little good karma plays into it as well. While you may have lost a person or two, a group of amazing individuals (even strangers) show up to let you know that they’re here for you. I have tons of stories about bomb people that have been nothing but kind to me. That’s all that matters. As my Katie bear would say, “I love us.”
Protected: Last night was funny because… October 23, 2011
Protected: Rampage October 20, 2011
Protected: Jugglin’ October 6, 2011
28 Minutes isn’t on Your Way. May 20, 2011
I’ve been waiting for 28 minutes on a few friends to arrive. Its annoying as all hell when people text and say they are “almost there”. Totally pointless if don’t actually show up within a reasonable amount of time. Completely unnecessary. I don’t like waiting for people, its a complete waste of time. I have this really weird thing about time though. I feel that because it does pass quickly, I sure as hell don’t want to waste it.
I don’t want to be late for people either. I’ll definitely work on being more punctual too. Uggh.
Where can I reorder some resilience? May 14, 2011
It’s hard coming from a big city where all you know is there. Family, friends and your whole life is there. What defined you as a person is there. And that’s what no one gets over here. Everyone thinks it’s easy and it’s not.
I really thought I could start building a foundation of friends over here and that hasn’t been the case. On top of the people being very unwelcoming here, it’s been hard trying to keep a consistent number of friends. Surprisingly, I met a guy here and even more surprisingly he has been the only consistent thing I’ve had here in Pittsburgh. No one else has stuck around.
I feel like all I’ve done in this city is to try and be resilient. It’s at the point where I’m tired of trying to be resilient. Why can’t things just be easy so I wouldn’t have to be resilient in the first place? My resilience and strength has been tested several times from several different situations. I just think that this time around, I’m all out of resilience and strength.
judgements. April 28, 2011
I’ve never been able to understand the perspectives of peoples relationships. That’s one thing that has never, ever, ever made any sense to me. I suppose that at times its much easier to maintain unhealthy-comfortable-drama infused relationship than walk away. I think that there are times in this life and times in relationships that require a break, willing or unwilling whichever, time is often necessary. Self preservation, self respect and most importantly self love.
“I love myself enough to know that its time to walk away.”
“I love myself enough to know its time to take a break.”
“I love myself enough to wish peace upon others and wish happiness upon them.”
My sense of reality in relationships is so jaded at times. My sense of independence is also strong. I wouldn’t say that I fight relationships but I want to fight off the ones that I don’t feel are right for me.Perhaps, my curiosity begins with the idea of comfort and settling. I don’t understand the relationships of my friends who choose to stay in emotionally abusive places and limit themselves only to what they know. What’s the purpose in that? When I ask those challenging questions they are often offended and respond with simple:
“Well why should you worry, you’re not the one in this,” or
“I’ve been with him for X amount of years, so you don’t get it”.
Its not that I don’t get it. I do. There is nothing more frustrating than seeing someone’s potential and seeing how so scared they are of fulfilling it. Again, I just don’t get it. The idea of comfort can only get you so FAR. I’m too curious. I’m too open to new experiences. Maybe I’m too afraid to face things too in a way. I’ve been in my own share of unhealthy, mind twisting, soul changing relationships. And how do I feel? How did I feel at the end of it all?
Well, there isn’t really an end. Its a matter of learning how to manage it as it happens sometimes. But again- its a matter of self preservation. I love you dearly and immensely but give me a minute to hide away for a minute or two. Sometimes I think- that maybe – I’m the one full of immaturity. But a closer reassessment of various situations just proves everything I’m experiencing is new.
I don’t really know where my original idea was going with this. I just don’t get relationships structured around fear, comfort and insecurity. What’s the point?