There has been plenty of deaths going around these past two weeks. I’m not sure how I feel about it. I haven’t experienced any close deaths in either one of my families. All four of my grandparents are alive and well. Extended aunts, uncles and cousins as too; all living, pumping blood, active and most importantly – breathing.
My coworker’s mother passed away two weeks ago. I wasn’t sure how to approach the situation or talk about it. I’ve always felt the generic “I’m sorry for your loss” phrases are so not heartfelt. So, I wrote them a letter instead. This is what I wrote:
“I’ve never ever experienced a death on my close family. I have no idea what that feels like, what it looks like or how to even begin identifying the first emotion of it. I cannot imagine nor relate to what you’re experiencing. I just hope you are okay, strong and forgiving. Life never makes sense, when things occur at the times that they do, we will never understand fully. I suppose that is almost the rare beauty of it all. This mysterious unknown space of time-testing our reactions to see how we will cope and most importantly heal.
I wish you and your spouse the best during this time. I know its easy for many to say “I’m sorry for your loss” however, I’ve never met your mother in person so I do not know what type of woman she was. But one thing I’m sure about is she had to be a hell of a woman for raising such a good person as yourself.
So, I’m sorry that you are experiencing what you’re going through. As someone who has crossed your path in life, you have my full support and positivity; again I wish you nothing but strength during this time.
Take your time through these times and be there for your father as much as you can. You both have each other. Most importantly know that you’re not alone during this time. Somehow in some strange way, we are all in this together.”
The other three deaths in my circle of friends have also been quite tragic. I didn’t get to write them a letter but I have prayed for them, I suppose that’s all I can do.