A Tale of Two Chicas

Breakfast May 12, 2011

Filed under: Chicago Chica — Yessica @ 8:47 pm
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I want to make this for breakfast.

I’m a (somewhat) hopeless romantic. I’m sure this isn’t news to anyone for that matter. Its easy to assume that most women are hopeless romantics who want a deliciously laced, airy love, full of kisses and hugs. Anyways, my point is this – what do I want from a relationship? Well, to begin there are areas of my “ideal relationship” that are traditional and some which are not. I usually butt heads with girlfriends about this topic. The way I see it is this: as long as it works for me and the other person, then its all a go. We’re the only two people in the relationship so everything else is just ear static.

Traditional elements I like:

1. Phone Calls: Yeah, you may not talk a lot or like to talk on the phone, but nothing makes me happier than a simple hello. In all honesty phone calls more than any other form of communication will get my attention. Texts are fine but calls every now and then is awesome.

2. Notes: Call it immature, call it whatever you want. I like notes. I like written little scribbles that I can find in my bag later in my day. Notes, cards, simple musings keep me happy.

3. Dates: Dinner, catch a movie, watch the sunrise, have a beer, watch a game, go bowling– whatever. Dates are fun and great way to spend some time together outside of traditional comfort zones. I don’t expect to be wined and dined every time but a date here and there is nice.

4. Commitments: I don’t think this is something I take lightly, if you say you’re going to do something then do it. Follow through is very important. In terms of long term commitments, they’re great but I don’t think they’re for everybody-initially. (I’ll explain this a bit later.)

5. Communication:  Just talk to me, let me know what’s going on. I like to talk a lot. Yeah, sometimes shit happens. Whatever. Its a matter of how each of us deals with it and continue to learn from it. So speak up!

Nontraditional elements I like:

1. Frequency:  I may not see you everyday because my schedule sucks, or I’m overwhelmed with work, etc. I think that’s okay. I’ll see you once or twice a week, I think that’s healthy. Obviously as the relationship grows the frequency will change. Its important for me to take my time to get to know you, which is why frequency can vary.

2. Long Term Commitment: Outside of its institutionalized structure, I’m all for marriage. If I ever got into a life threating situation I would want my husband there. I would want the security of knowing should something happen to me, whatever I have is his.

3. Free to Roam: I’m all for you doing your thing and me doing mine. As long as there is a mutual understanding and support each others goals- we’re good.

4.  Boys Nights: Go out whenever the hell you want. I’m not picky, I don’t take it personal. Whateves, you need your own social life as well as I do.

5. Time Outs: Not really breaks but just that- a time out. Obviously within reason and within whatever ranges/variables are agreed upon between both parties. Time outs are effective in plenty of relationships. (Look at Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, or Oprah and Stedman for example.) As individuals I think time alone is necessary for ourselves sometimes.

The hopeless romantic in me does love the sense of immediacy to talk with someone. How do I describe it? That instant chemistry which clicks every time you spend time together. Picking up exactly where you left off. The urgency to want to share a story with them and interlace into each others lives. THAT  is where my hopeless romanticism kicks in.

That’s the only list I’m able to compile for right now. I think it’s pretty basic definitely not brain science. I think that the right combinations of these elements will create a good relationship. Who knows, we’ll see as time progresses and continue to grow. What are your thoughts on these elements? Are there parts which you absolutely cannot compromise on and if so, why?

 

You’re more grown up than I am May 7, 2011

Filed under: Pittsburgh Chica — Sonia @ 10:19 pm
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Dear Yessica,

My boo thang and I joke around a lot. In actuality, “boo thang” originated from a joke where I called him “ghetto boo thang.” I thought it was funny since he is so far away from ghetto. I should really start adding the “ghetto” in front of “boo thang” again. You know, switch it up a bit.

Lover sounds sexy and mature. Yesi, you’re so sexy and mature. I’m not mature by any means.

Sonia

 

Growing Up. May 4, 2011

Filed under: Chicago Chica — Yessica @ 12:23 am
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Dear Sonia,

I like how you refer to your special someone as Boo Thang. I refer to mine as Lover.
Do you think we are growing up? I hope so.

Miss you amiga,

Yessica.

 

working out May 1, 2011

Filed under: Chicago Chica — Yessica @ 4:21 pm
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Yup, curiosity and honesty are probably two of my weakest traits. Sometimes I don’t know how to not be honest with people I find it very difficult. I’ve learned how to readjust my filter from time to time which has definitely helped me but there is still that little bug of curiosity in me that I can’t quite flick off.

I’ve always been very curious about several things growing up. I think that’s where my itch to move NYC is constantly coming up in my mind.

 

it’s the little things April 27, 2011

Filed under: Chicago Chica — Yessica @ 10:38 pm
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What’s it going to take for me to maintain a healthy level of happiness this upcoming year? It’s something I’ve been thinking about quite often. I think its important for me to shift my prospective on work, love and health. Most importantly I should start thinking about where I see myself in the next year or two.

I remember having a conversation with a friend of mine last summer about moving to New York. He said it would be a great adventure and a fun thing to do. Although he agreed with my reasons about leaving Chicago he didn’t quite understand why I wouldn’t want to stay here. Thinking back to that night, I can recall explaining to him that I would stay in Chicago if one of two instances did occur:

1. I find an amazing job in a creative field where I can be productive, busy and happy. Chicago is a great city to be in, awesome lifestyles to pick from and several scenes to fall into. I would most definitely start a career here, I’m sure the opportunities are there. Maybe I’m not looking hard enough? or maybe I’m looking too hard. I don’t know for certain.

2. A relationship. Ahhh yes, I know- a relationship doesn’t sound like a good enough reason to stay behind in Chicago BUT to me it might actually be. I believe that relationships are a lot of work, time, love and understanding. If the right person came along, I’m willing to compromise on things and figure them out as they happen.

I don’t know what it is about me, but I just have this odd sensation that there is something out there in this world that is calling me. I’m not exact in which location or direction just yet, but I feel destined to something great. Now, I’m not saying I’m growing up to be the next 26 year old millionaire, Oprah, or some huge status symbol, I just feel like my path in this life will overall be good and very educational. Hmmm, I’m not sure if that totally makes sense.