I want to make this for breakfast.
I’m a (somewhat) hopeless romantic. I’m sure this isn’t news to anyone for that matter. Its easy to assume that most women are hopeless romantics who want a deliciously laced, airy love, full of kisses and hugs. Anyways, my point is this – what do I want from a relationship? Well, to begin there are areas of my “ideal relationship” that are traditional and some which are not. I usually butt heads with girlfriends about this topic. The way I see it is this: as long as it works for me and the other person, then its all a go. We’re the only two people in the relationship so everything else is just ear static.
Traditional elements I like:
1. Phone Calls: Yeah, you may not talk a lot or like to talk on the phone, but nothing makes me happier than a simple hello. In all honesty phone calls more than any other form of communication will get my attention. Texts are fine but calls every now and then is awesome.
2. Notes: Call it immature, call it whatever you want. I like notes. I like written little scribbles that I can find in my bag later in my day. Notes, cards, simple musings keep me happy.
3. Dates: Dinner, catch a movie, watch the sunrise, have a beer, watch a game, go bowling– whatever. Dates are fun and great way to spend some time together outside of traditional comfort zones. I don’t expect to be wined and dined every time but a date here and there is nice.
4. Commitments: I don’t think this is something I take lightly, if you say you’re going to do something then do it. Follow through is very important. In terms of long term commitments, they’re great but I don’t think they’re for everybody-initially. (I’ll explain this a bit later.)
5. Communication: Just talk to me, let me know what’s going on. I like to talk a lot. Yeah, sometimes shit happens. Whatever. Its a matter of how each of us deals with it and continue to learn from it. So speak up!
Nontraditional elements I like:
1. Frequency: I may not see you everyday because my schedule sucks, or I’m overwhelmed with work, etc. I think that’s okay. I’ll see you once or twice a week, I think that’s healthy. Obviously as the relationship grows the frequency will change. Its important for me to take my time to get to know you, which is why frequency can vary.
2. Long Term Commitment: Outside of its institutionalized structure, I’m all for marriage. If I ever got into a life threating situation I would want my husband there. I would want the security of knowing should something happen to me, whatever I have is his.
3. Free to Roam: I’m all for you doing your thing and me doing mine. As long as there is a mutual understanding and support each others goals- we’re good.
4. Boys Nights: Go out whenever the hell you want. I’m not picky, I don’t take it personal. Whateves, you need your own social life as well as I do.
5. Time Outs: Not really breaks but just that- a time out. Obviously within reason and within whatever ranges/variables are agreed upon between both parties. Time outs are effective in plenty of relationships. (Look at Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, or Oprah and Stedman for example.) As individuals I think time alone is necessary for ourselves sometimes.
The hopeless romantic in me does love the sense of immediacy to talk with someone. How do I describe it? That instant chemistry which clicks every time you spend time together. Picking up exactly where you left off. The urgency to want to share a story with them and interlace into each others lives. THAT is where my hopeless romanticism kicks in.
That’s the only list I’m able to compile for right now. I think it’s pretty basic definitely not brain science. I think that the right combinations of these elements will create a good relationship. Who knows, we’ll see as time progresses and continue to grow. What are your thoughts on these elements? Are there parts which you absolutely cannot compromise on and if so, why?