A Tale of Two Chicas

Pittsburgh Chica Update May 27, 2012

Filed under: Pittsburgh Chica — Sonia @ 7:32 pm
Tags: , , , ,

I haven’t posted anything in a hot minute! And, looking back at all the old posts I have to admit that I got a little teary-eyed! I just can’t believe how lonely and miserable I was! That jerk of an ex-boyfriend really did a number on me, didn’t he?

I’m glad to report that things are soooo much better! I’m still with my man that I’ve been dating since December (and that I’ve known for over a year). He’s so good to me. For my birthday this past February, he surprised me with a basket of mangoes (my favorite fruit) with balloons (I mentioned how sad I was that I wasn’t going to get my yearly birthday balloons from my sister) tied to the basket. I’m such a lucky girl.

I hopefully will graduate with dual Master’s degree in December. I can’t wait to finally finish.

I also did end up getting a job within my agency in another department. I love my coworkers. Something crazy is always happening. My boyfriend cracks up with all the stories I tell him.

I love my life.

 

Life plan October 27, 2011

Filed under: Pittsburgh Chica — Sonia @ 12:30 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Since I graduated with my bachelor’s in journalism in 2008 and never got that tv news reporter gig I always wanted, I’ve been kind of a lost soul. I didn’t have a Plan B and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. It was literally a, “Shit…now what?,” kind of thing. Even now, in grad school, I still want to do like 15 million different things. I think I’m starting to figure every thing out though. Slowly but surely. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I’m serious about it to the point where I’m making a checklist and timeline. My friends, below is just a rough draft of my Life Plan.

    Sonia’s Life Plan

•After not only feeling but being sheltered by my family, I want to live in different places, experience life and “see what’s out there.” Don’t get me wrong. I love my family. In Mexican culture, family is important. We stick together. We stay together. I’m very traditional when it comes to family. However, I felt so sheltered from the world. My parents had a heart attack when I moved out of the house at 21. I was literally 15 mins. away but it was still a huge deal. They died when I moved to Pittsburgh. I love, love, love my family but cut the damn umbilical cord. I plan to leave Pittsburgh once I finish school but, I realized I don’t want to move back to Chicago just yet. I plan live in the following places, each for a year (I’m still iffy on the order) and my parents are just going to have to deal with it:

-Seattle, WA
-Bend, OR
-Austin, TX
-Minneapolis, MN
-Montana (Don’t know where yet)
-Denver, CO

•Both my legal business/law and public relations for non-profits classes are inspiring me. With all the current law/legal issues I’m learning about and all the good I’m learning about non-profits, I really feel like I want to give my skills to organizations in need. Something that’s really intriguing me are opportunities in grant writing and reviewing grant proposals. Honestly, I don’t know where to start. I’ve never had experience in grant writing but that’s why I’m in school. I don’t know how to get my foot in the grant writing door but I’ll figure it out.

•When I’m done with the two bullet points above, I guess I’ll get married and pop out kids. Even though I’m not really into the idea of marriage & kids, I do need a daughter to pass down my mom’s ring.

 

Vroom, vroom! August 31, 2011

Filed under: Pittsburgh Chica — Sonia @ 10:21 am
Tags: , , , , ,

I feel bad because I haven’t updated my two readers on the latest developments of my life. Therefore, I will give all of you fine people what you want. Here it is, short and sweet:

•I still loathe people and Pittsburgh. That has not changed.

•My back hurts.

•I was in the bathroom at some bar and some girl told me I needed to eat a hamburger.

•In reference to the bullet point above, I stopped taking my meds because I love my martinis and beer.

•I fly back to the Chi this weekend! Cue the Kanye music!

•I started school again last night. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a corner to crawl into where I can quietly weep.

There you go. Living life on the fast lane. Be jealous.

 

French Kiss Martinis July 9, 2011

Filed under: Pittsburgh Chica — Sonia @ 11:59 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

I know, I know. I haven’t existed for a while but don’t say I didn’t warn you. I made it clear that summer grad classes were kicking me in the ass. I’m basically writing because I’m way too many martinis deep. Martinis are disgusting, by the way. Anyways, I’m trying my best to type slowly.

So it’s nights like these that I regret coming to Pittsburgh. I feel bad because if I never would’ve come here in the first place I never would’ve met my friend Kameron (who went back home for the summer & has decided to head off to the Navy) and my boyfriend. I love and appreciate these two individuals.

However, I sometimes feel guilty. I feel guilty because most likely, if I remained in Chicago, I would’ve probably been amateur boxing by now. Boxing was something I loved. I would’ve had my friends and family. I would’ve been in the city that I loved. In other words, I would’ve been happier. I just doidnt see it back then.

I always wanted something new though. And honestly, after two and a half years of being single and seeing countless of guys, more than I can count on my two hands, I wanted someone who wasn’t an idiot. Seriously. I got tired of the countless of dates where in the first five minutes of talking to the dude I thought he was an idiot. My girly friends always thought I yearned for something more when in reality I just wanted a damn companion. I’m just not that “yearn for something more” type oif girl.

Now that I do have what I want in terms of something new and steady guy, a part of me is still not happy. That’s what makes it sad and makes me feel guilty. If I were to finish my business here in Pittsburgh this moment, I would leave for Chicago tomorrow.

I’m just not resilient enough and honestlyz, (since Kameron is now gone) one person isn’t enough to sustain me as a sane human being. I have been going through so much mentally that it negatively affected my relationship with my boyfriend. When I was back home in Chicago for the 4th of july weekend I realized that I had to suck it up and change my attitude because if I didn’t, it would make me even more miserable in Pittsburgh.

I don’t know. Too many martinis makes a person over analyze.

 

a karmatic event. June 10, 2011

I’m deserving of relationships that will:

– protect me – fight for me – love me as is – support me – adore me – admire me – respect me – appreciate me – accept me – hold me – learn from me – challenge me – entertain me –

Yes, those are a lot of me, me, me’s. I’m just in that me mode today. I have a tendency to give too much of myself too often. Perhaps that’s just the woman in me. I give:

Love – respect – appreciation – support – kindness – admiration – protection – guidance – value -challenge – motivation – credit

Forgiveness is hard sometimes, how far does one have to be pushed to a point of no return? How many times can opportunity be given to someone? At what point do we realize those things? My biggest problem (I’ve been told by many) is that I have this giant sized heart full of solid strong love and curiosity. Its a dangerous mix trust me. The ability to love, forgive and question isn’t an easy process to put yourself through, and I have several times this past year.

I once said: “I never want to put myself in a situation where I feel limited by my relationships and felt as if I owed them something.” Perhaps this karmatic event is a repercussion of not only my stupidity, but my inability to let go of what has never been.

 

Fiddling Farce May 31, 2011

Filed under: Chicago Chica — Yessica @ 12:45 pm
Tags: ,

we cannot survive on isolated happy moments alone. no matter how wonderful they are, how good they used to make you feel, or how comfortable they can so easily become.

I have these moments I can sometimes fall into. Where I carefully dissect information, trying to find connections between thoughts, feelings and actions. Interesting enough- I never quite find a solution. I think I’m okay with that. Meh.

 

Fast Forward: May 20, 2011

Filed under: Chicago Chica — Yessica @ 3:36 am
Tags: , , , ,

There isn’t really a purpose or a point to this post. I’m a bit tired, sleepy, and happy. I’m ready for the summer. I’m ready for my adventure of some kind. Whether it consists of staying in Chicago a majority of the time or not, I’m ready to travel.
I need another trip lined up. I need a moment to escape Chicago and its people. I want a break to just chill out and relax. I work way too much. I’m not complaining but I’d like a minute to just take a break. I want to go to Vegas for a day or two. That would be awesome.

 

Where’s Sonia? May 19, 2011

Filed under: Pittsburgh Chica — Sonia @ 9:48 am
Tags: , , ,

I would like to take the time to notify my two readers that I will not exist from now until June 28th.

I decided to take two grad classes in the summer. Well, I didn’t decide, rather, I had to take these two grad classes. Since the summer semester is divided in two parts (and these are grad classes), that means I will have a work load equivalent to all my 4 years of undergrad squeezed in to 7 weeks. Yes, my friends, it’s that intense. Oh, and here’s the funny part: I will continue to work full-time.

Therefore, I will be missing and unreachable for days at a time. Maybe for weeks, if you’re lucky. My whereabouts will be a mystery. It will be as if I vanished or just plain never existed at all for a good month and a half.

It was nice to know all of you fine people.

 

Crazy Rabbit Lady May 17, 2011

Filed under: Pittsburgh Chica — Sonia @ 12:39 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

Dear Yessica,

I know I’ve had some amazing moments in my life. I’ve never had a problem with them fading away. In my mind, life is always about the good and the bad. We need these moments to fade to truly appreciate and learn from what we had. If they never faded, then what’s the point? I’ve, unfortunately, never fully appreciated these moments during and after. I just go about life without thinking. It’s a big problem. I just never fully appreciate life or its moments in general. I think this is what makes me a sad and complicated individual.

I’m very fortunate enough to have amazing people in my life. Even more amazing is that they all genuinely make me happy. I’m genuinely happy. It’s been different lately. I don’t know what it is but lately I’ve been angry. A little sadness is deep within there somewhere as well. If it wasn’t for work, all I would do is sleep all day. That’s all I did this past weekend. I slept for two days straight with the exception of sneaking out my room for an hour to eat. Not only was I emotionally hurt but I was physically hurt. It was hard to walk after laying around all day. I didn’t want to talk to anyone and I don’t want anyone caring. I got what I wanted. No one talked to me and no one cared.

I’ve had someone tell me, actually, more so demanded that I go home. I had to keep reminding myself that it wasn’t the time or the place to punch someone in the face. Let it be known, that if we elsewhere I would’ve done it. No questions asked. It also helped that, now, I’m not the girl I used to be.

If it’s one thing that my daddy taught me it’s not to be a punk. He taught me not to cry (even though I still do), to be strong and rise above anything and anyone.

I once had a conversation with our alma mater’s Vice President. He said if he knew anyone that had such perseverance and strength it was women.

So it’s in us somewhere. No matter how we look at life. No matter if the moments fade away. No matter how much we cry or how angry we are. No matter how many people we want to punch in the face. It’s in us.

As I look back at these moments when I’m 40 and living with my 50 rabbits (I like rabbits more than cats), I’ll mostly regret not seizing them at the time (I’ll also probably regret not socking people in the face too, at least the ones that deserved it) but I’ll sure as hell admire my strength. And yeah, we’ll probably have a chuckle or two.

Sonia