A Tale of Two Chicas

Pittsburgh Chica Update May 27, 2012

Filed under: Pittsburgh Chica — Sonia @ 7:32 pm
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I haven’t posted anything in a hot minute! And, looking back at all the old posts I have to admit that I got a little teary-eyed! I just can’t believe how lonely and miserable I was! That jerk of an ex-boyfriend really did a number on me, didn’t he?

I’m glad to report that things are soooo much better! I’m still with my man that I’ve been dating since December (and that I’ve known for over a year). He’s so good to me. For my birthday this past February, he surprised me with a basket of mangoes (my favorite fruit) with balloons (I mentioned how sad I was that I wasn’t going to get my yearly birthday balloons from my sister) tied to the basket. I’m such a lucky girl.

I hopefully will graduate with dual Master’s degree in December. I can’t wait to finally finish.

I also did end up getting a job within my agency in another department. I love my coworkers. Something crazy is always happening. My boyfriend cracks up with all the stories I tell him.

I love my life.

 

The List of Greats January 21, 2012

The ‘List of Greats’ is a list of men I’ve dated that have made a great impact on my life. It’s not a long list either. My college boyfriend was the only man on the list. Yes, he was the only one on the list until today.

Today, I can safely say that my man (whom we will now refer to as ‘my BFF’ for the purpose of this blog) has made the ‘List of Greats.’ I adore him. We established a genuine friendship long before we ever started dating. That’s why he’s my BFF. I genuinely considered him a good friend. Heck, he still is my good friend. When I dropped everything in Pittsburgh to leave for Chicago, he showed great concern for me when, let’s be honest here, he didn’t have to. Seriously. It wasn’t his obligation. He did it out of the goodness of his heart and because he was really worried about me.

My BFF has been the first good guy that I’ve dated since I broke up with my college boyfriend years ago. The dudes in between are honestly nothing but irrelevant and faded memories. They have faded from my thoughts and heart mainly because I knew I deserved to be treated better. I wasn’t asking to be treated like a princess. I was just asking for a little respect, consideration and affection.

I’ve tried to fix those relationships. I even tried “fixing” myself. In the end, I was always left emotionally unsatisfied and blaming myself for shit I shouldn’t have been blaming myself for in the first place. Dude after dude and I was left feeling more and more inadequate.

Our friendship was always innocent, simple and true. I guess we got closer towards the end of last summer. Yeah, he was hot and a nice guy on top of that. But, the thought of dating him never popped in my mind. Things just fell on our laps and, before you know it, we were inseparable.

I guess the fact that we already established a relationship as friends worked in our favor. I think it worked more in my favor because he’s shown undying kindness to me. Undying kindness to the point where I actually do feel like a princess.

He makes me feel like I deserve it too. I begged him that, no matter what happens, to please never make me feel inadequate. I will never forget what he told me. He said, “I want you to promise me something. I want you to promise to know and realize your worth. Don’t let the past or even me to determine your worth. I know your worth. But know that you’re smart, beautiful and funny.”

My college boyfriend was a good man. We lasted for 4 years. I just couldn’t give him the serious relationship he wanted. It was overwhelming me. It was a great relationship with a great man. However, people change. I changed. And, my relationship with my college boyfriend was fading away. Our time together ran its course.

I went through various changes and various men over the years. Through all of that, I’ve never forgotten my college boyfriend. That’s what makes him great. He’s forever engraved in me.

Now, I’m dating my friend. A great man who showers me with kisses and constantly tells me, “You’re gorgeous.” A great man that finds my stories heart warming and funny. A great man who values his relationships with his family and friends. A great man who will make me a better person no matter if our relationship flourishes or gently fades through time. That, my friends, deserves a spot on the ‘List of Greats.’

 

I love us October 24, 2011

Filed under: Pittsburgh Chica — Sonia @ 12:40 pm
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I’m not happy with my job. I do it just to pay the rent. However, there’s another reason why I don’t want to leave. The people there are just too damn cool. It’s an amazing organization to work for not only because of the services they provide for the community, obviously, but also because the employees are treated right.

They let me leave immediately for 2 1/2 weeks for health purposes and I returned with my job waiting for me. It wasn’t until then I realized I met some amazing and caring people. People I’ve known for only 5 months and they have shown great concern for me. I can honestly say I call these, about 4 or 5, people my friends. While I was at home (basically laying around until I left to get my flight back home to Chicago), my co-worker/friend offered to bring me food because I literally wasn’t eating for days.

I thought about that today as I experienced another act of kindness from another co-worker/friend. He had a big plate of chocolate covered strawberries and said, “Sonia, let’s go to the cafeteria and eat these.” Let me tell you, those strawberries were bomb.

I thought about how it’s funny the way things work out. You think you know a person. You think you can trust them. You think they mean it when they make promises or claim their loyalty. But, you really don’t know if they’re good on their word, loyalty, trust or whatever until it’s put to the test. It’s a good thing though because it weeds out the people that don’t deserve your presence, love, trust and loyalty. A little good karma plays into it as well. While you may have lost a person or two, a group of amazing individuals (even strangers) show up to let you know that they’re here for you. I have tons of stories about bomb people that have been nothing but kind to me. That’s all that matters. As my Katie bear would say, “I love us.”

 

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Breaking News: A new “Meet the Chicas” page coming soon. August 24, 2011

Filed under: Pittsburgh Chica — Sonia @ 1:09 pm
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Just to inform all of my two readers, my biography on the “Meet the Chicas” page will be under construction. We ask that you please pardon our dust.

Why am I updating my bio, you ask?

Well, my friends, it is due to tragic breaking news. Please have a seat if you are the fainting kind.

My friends, it pains me to tell you but my boo thang and I have officially called it quits. We’ve actually been separated for a few weeks now. Both he and I will remain friends for the sake of the kids – okay, there are no kids but it’s pretty damn funny when celebrities use that line.

Now, move along, folks. There’s nothing else to see here.

 

An Idea of Sorts August 13, 2011

Filed under: Chicago Chica — Yessica @ 12:26 pm
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Imagine what you want. Break down the details and yet see no solution. Or maybe the solution you see isn’t the one that you expected and much less wanted.

An idea so simple yet so powerful. To love an idea is such a false misconception one brought upon ourselves daily. We learn to trust, believe and have faith in ideas. Willing to learn and forgive with the hopes of our own personal growth.

Perception is foolish. Doing what makes you feel good isn’t always easy. What feels good is sometimes more dangerous than you may think. A grand risk taken each time makes you wonder: “Am I really this crazy?” —¬†Yeah, probably.

We welcome everything we want in our lives to happen. Sometimes it gets hard, misinterpreted, often miscommunicated. When does square one begin again? Or why do we even bother to continue with the same idea again?

The love of an idea can be a very scary feeling. The love of something that isn’t attainable, real or even physical – that can be the most dangerous to yourself.

 

True dat, Yesi June 10, 2011

Filed under: Pittsburgh Chica — Sonia @ 10:38 pm
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We give way too much of ourselves sometimes. Call it cynical and pessimistic. Call it me being in a pretty damn bad mood. I don’t care. We give way to much of ourselves sometimes only to feel like your not being met halfway.

The sad thing is that I continue to live in denial about it. I give people way too many chances. It’s always, “maybe it isn’t them, it’s me.” I’m pretty damn tired of blaming myself. I do it all the time. It’s always about making the other person happy. Forget how I feel. I don’t even care if they care how I feel. Just forget me all together.

I think it’s time that we finally think about “me, me, me” and forget about “you, you, you.”