Last summer, I remember being so excited to move to Pittsburgh. My original decision was to move here last June or July. I pushed it back to August because I was getting in a really good groove in my boxing training & I wasn’t ready to give it up just yet.
If it’s one thing I miss most about Chicago beside my family and friends, it’s that boxing gym. I worked the evening shift but it was that gym that made me get up every morning. It’s what I looked forward to most in the day.
I really wasn’t that great. In fact, I was still learning. That’s the thing about boxing. It teaches you something new every day.
Most people won’t believe me but about three years ago I was probably one of the angriest and nastiest girl you would ever meet. I seriously had issues. It was a bad temper I couldn’t control and the way I acted still haunts me to this day.
I started boxing when I was 23. Once I started I couldn’t stop. I was addicted. I switched to mornings with different trainers and my training took off. I went from training to an hour Mondays through Thursdays in the evenings to training close to two hours Mondays through Saturdays. I fell in love and I never felt so much in control in my life. It changed the person I turned into.
I gave it all up. I returned home for a month in December and I was heartbroken when I stepped back into that gym. The control that I gained was lost. I felt that everything I worked so hard for slipped right through my fingers. And I fear that the girl I was three years ago (two and a half years ago at the time) is slowly consuming me again. I feel it even more now.
I still vividly remember the way the sun would beam through the windows every morning. I remember feeling like the sun finally replaced the darkness that was following me for months on end.
I regret giving that up. I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.