A Tale of Two Chicas

dreams, or something. June 7, 2011

Filed under: Chicago Chica — Yessica @ 9:44 am
Tags: , , , , ,

I keep having this reoccuring dream where I’m living through a series of past events. I continue to feel hopeless and I begin to cry. I want an explanation about something yet I can never seem to ask the question fully. I stop myself because I’m too scared, too unsure and so nervous. So weird right? It shouldn’t have to be that way but its what I’ve been dreaming. I don’t like it.

There is no worst feeling than when your mind gets so hung up on idea that you cannot carry out on. I think I want something or I’m looking for something, obviously I’m having no luck.

 

I don’t wanna be a cat lady. May 16, 2011

Filed under: Chicago Chica — Yessica @ 1:17 am
Tags: , , , ,

Dear Sonia,

Ever have that moment when you believe that everything you’re experiencing is amazing? That moment when life feels like pure gold. That moment when you are on top of the world. Life feels pleasantly perfect and for just that moment absolutely nothing can take that glow away.

Yeah, those moments are awesome but it really sucks when they begin to fade away. Sheer brilliance diminishes and you’re set back to wonder what the hell just happened. Life gave you a whirlwind of high positives and boom- its gone again.

When moments like that occur I’m left to wonder if maybe my outlook and optimism is unnecessary. Some days I find it easier to set a low enough expectation just so I don’t trip myself up again. When it comes to matters of the heart I get easily annoyed with my mild, child like, cautious nature.

Blegh. I’m fed up and full of annoyances today. Some day when we’re 45, we’ll laugh at these days right? I’d hope so.
I just wish I wasn’t so awkward. I always walk and dance to my own beat but I get impatient when someone can’t keep up. I don’t wanna be a cat lady.

I hate this Chicago weather somehow it manages to depress me,

Yessica.