A Tale of Two Chicas

runnin’. June 8, 2011

Filed under: Chicago Chica — Yessica @ 3:08 pm
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I have two jobs both in the loop. I love running from job A to job B. Switching on and off between roles keeps me happy.

I think I’m even happier with my inability to really think. I’m just doing. Work – strategy – love – laughing.

Is this the lifestyle I wanted? I think so. As much as I strive off of consistency and structure, I’m happier just doing this. I like looking at the people on the street wondering where they are going. Each day here I realize how disconnected I’m becoming from this city. In the loop I get to experience the urban elements I love, only to realize that they can only exist between certain times and certain days of the week. Funny how that reflects a lot of my relationships.

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Patio Thinking May 22, 2011

Filed under: Chicago Chica — Yessica @ 7:46 pm
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Its lovely outside. So I sit on my back patio to think. My coworker said today that one person will always love the other person more in a relationship. Which reminded me of a phrase my aunt used to say quite often: “the person you’ll marry will love you more than you love them” she said.

I can’t help but to feel a bit sad about those phrases from time to time. I want to love and be loved equally; I’m always diplomatic at heart.

My coworker also said: “Its not always about marriage, stick to that person who can understand you entirely for who you are. If you can tolerate them at their worst and they can tolerate you at yours, then its worth keeping.” I suppose that’s true.

But again, I can’t help feeling like tolerance in one way or another some how translates to a form of competition. So, if I can tolerate you and accept you for who you are, who’s to say someone else isn’t or can’t? I don’t know- maybe I’m just being to analytical, it happens.

Just another Sunday evening of back patio thinking.

 

28 Minutes isn’t on Your Way. May 20, 2011

Filed under: Chicago Chica — Yessica @ 1:14 am
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I’ve been waiting for 28 minutes on a few friends to arrive. Its annoying as all hell when people text and say they are “almost there”. Totally pointless if don’t actually show up within a reasonable amount of time. Completely unnecessary. I don’t like waiting for people, its a complete waste of time. I have this really weird thing about time though. I feel that because it does pass quickly, I sure as hell don’t want to waste it.

I don’t want to be late for people either. I’ll definitely work on being more punctual too. Uggh.

 

eating dinner alone. May 16, 2011

Filed under: Chicago Chica — Yessica @ 9:03 pm
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I just finished having dinner alone at the Rocking Horse, a restaurant bar place by my house. Its very close and walking distance home. Why I love to eat here and drink here:
Everything on their menu is awesome. They have a great drink menu. I absolutely love drinking Ace’s Pear Cider Beer.

I’m glad my dad taught me how to eat dinner alone at a young age. I used to be real weird about it feeling extremely awkward sitting by myself while others around me enjoyed their meals in company of friends. I can still distinctly remember the first time I ever had dinner alone.

I was 15 living on Vashon Island, Washington for the summer with my dad. There was a chinese restaurant on the island which we would frequently visit. My dad told me the only way I’d ever learn to really understand people and deal with them is by learning to deal with myself first. He told me I should go have dinner at this place alone and deal with the awkwardness. He said that in the larger image of life that one dinner alone wouldn’t really matter and if I never wanted to do it again, I wouldn’t have to.

My dad’s taught me a lot about life at a very young age. I guess I wasn’t quite ready to understand the deeper meanings of his lessons at the time. So where does that leave me now? Well, I don’t know. Its not too difficult. Sometimes I like to eat alone. The end.

 

Growing Up. May 4, 2011

Filed under: Chicago Chica — Yessica @ 12:23 am
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Dear Sonia,

I like how you refer to your special someone as Boo Thang. I refer to mine as Lover.
Do you think we are growing up? I hope so.

Miss you amiga,

Yessica.

 

it’s the little things April 27, 2011

Filed under: Chicago Chica — Yessica @ 10:38 pm
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What’s it going to take for me to maintain a healthy level of happiness this upcoming year? It’s something I’ve been thinking about quite often. I think its important for me to shift my prospective on work, love and health. Most importantly I should start thinking about where I see myself in the next year or two.

I remember having a conversation with a friend of mine last summer about moving to New York. He said it would be a great adventure and a fun thing to do. Although he agreed with my reasons about leaving Chicago he didn’t quite understand why I wouldn’t want to stay here. Thinking back to that night, I can recall explaining to him that I would stay in Chicago if one of two instances did occur:

1. I find an amazing job in a creative field where I can be productive, busy and happy. Chicago is a great city to be in, awesome lifestyles to pick from and several scenes to fall into. I would most definitely start a career here, I’m sure the opportunities are there. Maybe I’m not looking hard enough? or maybe I’m looking too hard. I don’t know for certain.

2. A relationship. Ahhh yes, I know- a relationship doesn’t sound like a good enough reason to stay behind in Chicago BUT to me it might actually be. I believe that relationships are a lot of work, time, love and understanding. If the right person came along, I’m willing to compromise on things and figure them out as they happen.

I don’t know what it is about me, but I just have this odd sensation that there is something out there in this world that is calling me. I’m not exact in which location or direction just yet, but I feel destined to something great. Now, I’m not saying I’m growing up to be the next 26 year old millionaire, Oprah, or some huge status symbol, I just feel like my path in this life will overall be good and very educational. Hmmm, I’m not sure if that totally makes sense.